Ok, so I finally managed to type up my part of the script; so here it is. I'm still rather dissatisfied with the ending, but have yet to come up with one that's better. Without further ado, here it is:
INT. LIVINGROOM – DAY
Kevin slams the door shut. Relieved to finally be rid of his guests, he uses his sleeve to wipe the sweat form his brow. He lets out a sigh.
PULL OUT to see Kevin leaning against the door; he’s finally alone. He moseys back to the coffee table with the full ashtrays and empty beer cans.
CLOSE UP KEVIN
Kevin valiantly searches for a can with a last drop of booze. He lets out a groan as he sits down on the floor by the coffee table.
LONG SHOT LIVING ROOM
Suddenly a knock echoes form the door. Kevin’s head bows as yet another visitor is unwittingly put in danger. The door swings wide open, light bursts into the room, momentarily blinding Kevin. He shields his eyes as a figure, his ex-girlfriend AMY, slowly walks toward him.
MEDIUM SHOT AMY
AMY (insert description here) walks toward Kevin with arms stretched out. Her purse dangles awkwardly on her shoulder. She’s pretty well dolled up for visiting her ex.
OVER THE SHOULDER AMY
Kevin touches his bomb briefly, he has a dumbfounded look on his face. Trying to play it cool, Kevin puts a burnt out cigarette to his mouth. Amy’s shadow hits Kevin.
PUSH TO KEVIN
He rubs his bloodshot eyes, blinks a few times. His eyes go wide, the burnt-out cigarette falls from his mouth. He lets out a big smile.
MEDIUM SHOT KEVIN
Kevin dusts himself off as he gets up. He sidesteps the debris around his seat.
WIDE SHOT KEVIN AND AMY
The Bomb on Kevin’s chest beeps violently; the counter has reached zero. Kevin jumps back, expecting it to all be over.
OVER THE SHOULDER KEVIN
Amy shoots him a puzzled look.
MEDIUM SHOT KEVIN
He wipes the beads of sweat off his brow for the second time, gives reassuring motions toward Amy. Kevin Shrugs his shoulders, he walks toward Amy. He steps into the light pouring in from the door.
POV AMY
Amy glances around the room, sees how trashed it is, takes a step back.
MS KEVIN AND AMY
Kevin moves back toward Amy. The two pause, stare at each other for a moment before they finally embrace.
CU KEVIN’S FACE
Kevin smiles contentedly toward the camera.
A wicked cool explosion cuts their reunion short…
FADE OUT
Monday, April 27, 2009
My bad
I'd like to apologize for not making it to the meeting this morning. I do have some stuff to show off, so I'll get to it shortly.
hmm kay
So Catherine and I were the only attendees of the meeting this morning...Which means it was a total waste of time for the both of us. I don't appreciate putting effort into things that don't go anywhere. I am too busy for playing games. I understand things come up and maybe some of us won't be able to make it all the time but if you are going to miss a meeting FOR ANY REASON please people, for the love of god, pick up your phones and give me a call. I want to know beforehand so I don't waste my time.
Peace Out
Peace Out
Luke's Notes for the Monday Meeting
I have been called in early to work as of about five minutes ago, so I will not be attending our meeting this morning. Briefly, what I was planning on saying is this:
Most of what we've got looks pretty good. The jokes work, and there's actually been a lot of thought as to final camera direction. While I want to tell you that's a good idea (because we are the entire production crew for this short) I don't know that I can. Glover specifically mentioned that directing via the script is to be avoided.
Frankly, I'm not sure if it's a big deal in this case. Like I said, we're only directing ourselves. We are the ones who will need to come up with staging and direction, in the end. But it is bad etiquette in a modern production environment for a scriptwriter to try and horn in on the Director's and DP's jobs. I don't know if Glover is going to require changes for the sake of practice. I hope not, since it's silly to have these ideas and not keep them written down, but I think it could happen.
The way I usually approach scriptwriting at this point is to lay out the action and dialog, and then figure out the direction via storyboards after I've written out my first draft. Think of it like setting up an animation in Maya, and then placing cameras. You have a vague idea of where it's going to go, but the tweaking and fine tuning is a separate stage.
I'm fairly pleased with the degree of constancy we've maintained, as well. I really don't think there will be a lot of changes required to make the writing match up from section to section, aside from my own section containing no specific camera instructions.
Also, David, I need to see some work from you. I hate to call you out in front of the internet, but I'm not going to be there to call you out in person, so it was my only choice.
Most of what we've got looks pretty good. The jokes work, and there's actually been a lot of thought as to final camera direction. While I want to tell you that's a good idea (because we are the entire production crew for this short) I don't know that I can. Glover specifically mentioned that directing via the script is to be avoided.
Frankly, I'm not sure if it's a big deal in this case. Like I said, we're only directing ourselves. We are the ones who will need to come up with staging and direction, in the end. But it is bad etiquette in a modern production environment for a scriptwriter to try and horn in on the Director's and DP's jobs. I don't know if Glover is going to require changes for the sake of practice. I hope not, since it's silly to have these ideas and not keep them written down, but I think it could happen.
The way I usually approach scriptwriting at this point is to lay out the action and dialog, and then figure out the direction via storyboards after I've written out my first draft. Think of it like setting up an animation in Maya, and then placing cameras. You have a vague idea of where it's going to go, but the tweaking and fine tuning is a separate stage.
I'm fairly pleased with the degree of constancy we've maintained, as well. I really don't think there will be a lot of changes required to make the writing match up from section to section, aside from my own section containing no specific camera instructions.
Also, David, I need to see some work from you. I hate to call you out in front of the internet, but I'm not going to be there to call you out in person, so it was my only choice.
Aimee's Two Missionaries
INT. KEVIN’S DOORWAY-DAY
MEDIUM SHOT-KEVIN
Kevin pushes his front door shut; he feels an obstruction in the doorway.
PAN DOWN-DOORWAY
He looks down to see a foot wedged between the door and the frame.
PAN UP-DOORWAY
A hand from the outside then appears and yanks the door wide open again.
EXT. KEVIN’S DOORWAY-DAY
FULL SHOT-TWO MISSIONARIES
Standing in his door way are two missionaries dressed in nearly identical suits. They smile and hold up many pamphlets.
INT. KEVIN’S DOORWAY-DAY
FULL SHOT-KEVIN
Kevin has an annoyed blank stare. He keeps this expression as he starts to close the door again.
EXT. KEVIN’S DOORWAY-DAY
MEDIUM SHOT-TWO MISSIONARIES
The missionaries hold the door open with their hands full of pamphlets.
INT. KEVIN’S DOORWAY-DAY
MEDIUM SHOT-KEVIN
Kevin pushes with all his weight to close the door.
EXT. KEVIN’S DOORWAY-DAY
FULL SHOT-TWO MISSIONARIES
The missionaries put their weight into keeping the door open. Pamphlets are slipping out of the missionaries hands and falling to the ground.
INT. KEVIN’S DOORWAY-DAY
CLOSE UP-KEVIN’S FACE
Finally Kevin realizes that he cannot keep the two missionaries out.
FULL SHOT-KEVIN
Kevin lets the door go. The two missionaries fall forward into Kevin’s doorway as pamphlets fly into the air and flutter to the ground.
TILT UP-KEVIN
With an obvious fake smile, Kevin pulls one of the missionaries off the ground.
MEDIUM SHOT-KEVIN AND MISSIONARY
The missionary is still trying to hand out pamphlets. Kevin grabs the hand full of pamphlets and shoves the man out the door. The second missionary, who is still getting up off the floor has a holy book in his hand.
CLOSE UP-HOLY BOOK
MEDIUM SHOT-KEVIN
Kevin, with pamphlets bundled under one arm, helps the second missionary up and pushes him out the door before the second missionary has gotten back his balance.
CLOSE UP-KEVIN’S FACE
Kevin has a look of surprise.
TILT DOWN-KEVIN’S HAND
Kevin then realizes that the holy book is now in his hands.
FULL SHOT-KEVIN
Kevin stands in his own doorway with a blank stare holding and armful of pamphlets and a holy book.
EXT. KEVIN’S DOORWAY-DAY
MEDIUM SHOT-TWO MISSIONARIES
The missionaries smile and are then on their way to the next house.
INT. KEVIN’S DOORWAY-DAY
FULL SHOT-KEVIN
The missionaries leave Kevin standing in the doorway, still holding the pamphlets and holy book. Kevin now has another extremely fake smile.
CLOSE UP-KEVIN
While smiling, he begins to tremble with frustration.
CLOSE UP-KEVIN’S FEET
Kevin drops all of the pamphlets and holy book to the floor.
MEDIUM SHOT-KEVIN
Exasperated, Kevin takes a deep breath and leans on his door frame with his head pressed into his arm.
CLOSE UP-KEVIN
Kevin has his face buried in his arm.
Girl Scouts and Return of the Neighbor (Luke)
Kevin finally rids himself of the missionaries, and, after watching them move away from his home and towards his neighbors, he leans against the doorframe (the door still stands open) and heaves a sigh of relief.
Just as he does so, a small hand reaches up from the bottom of the frame and tugs at his sleeve. He looks up, sees nothing, then looks down, at the origin of the sleeve-tugging.
A short girl scout beams up at him for a moment, blinks twice, and then presents a box of Girl Scout Cookies. Her awkward Girl Scout partner leans in and grins a mouth full of braces at Kevin.
Kevin looks at the girl scouts in disbelief, shoves them out the door, and slams it in their faces. A moment later the doorbell rings
We see, from the girl scouts’ outside perspective, the door whip open. Kevin throws fistfuls of cash at the girls, and snatches the box of cookies from the lead girl’s hands, before pushing them away from his door and slamming it closed again.
Kevin leans against his door, panting. He checks the ticking bomb on his chest. It reads “0:30.” Kevin sighs in relief, then jumps several feet off the floor as the door is thrust open behind him. It is Mrs. Jenkins, back with a tray of freshly baked cookies.
Kevin tries to push her away, but she holds up the tray, insistent. In a panic, he shovels mouthfuls of cookies into his mouth, rubs his belly and gives Mrs. Jenkins a thumbs-up to indicate the deliciousness of the cookies, and picks her up bodily, setting her down outside the door and slamming it.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Script Introduction WIP
Thanks for posting Nikki! I've tried to fit mine in so it could match yours. Here's what I have so far, and it by NO MEANS done. I still have to add Kevin's description, get the wording right, and make it decent, but the jist is there.
Anyways, here's my WIP:
INT LIVING ROOM – DAY
KEVIN (25)
PANs over the living room.
Close up of contents of coffie table. The camera pans to show ashtrays full of used cigarettes and ash. There are also blueprints of how to make TNT. Ontop of which are fuses, pliers, and miscellaneous cogwheels.
The camera tilts towards the ground as it pans to the far wall. Used tissues, empty cartons of cigarettes, beer cans, and pizza boxes litter the floor.
The camera tilts to it's normal position and pans up an entertainment center. A smashed television set rests in the center. On the top shelf are broken pictures of Kevin and Amy. Some of which are torn down the center. Others have Amy’s face scribbled on with a black sharpie. Only one picture is left untouched and still in a frame.
The camera turns 180 degrees to create an establishing shot of the living room. On the opposite wall is a large, musty green couch. Behind the couch is a large window with the curtains half-drawn.
Kevin faces the corner and turns towards the entertainment center. Strapped onto a vest are seven sticks of TNT fused to a digital timer. As he walks towards the entertainment center, he painstakingly sets the timer to exactly five minutes and hits a red button on top of the timer. The clock begins counting down.
Kevin looks up at the shelf of the entertainment center. He grabs the undamaged picture of himself and Amy and longingly stares at it as he walks towards the couch. He stops halfway. His longing expression turns to hatred. He winds up his arm and throws the picture at the floor. SMASH.
Close up – broken picture frame
The picture frame and protective glass is shattered into pieces. Kevin’s foot walks on top of the abused picture.
Tilt – up from picture
Kevin stands between the coffie table and the couch. He grabs a half-used cigarette from the ashtray on the coffee table, lights it, and takes a puff. Exhausted, Kevin collapses dejectedly on the couch. His head slumps back at an uncomfortable looking angle. He is content.
............................ and thus begins Nikki's part.
Anyways, here's my WIP:
INT LIVING ROOM – DAY
KEVIN (25)
PANs over the living room.
Close up of contents of coffie table. The camera pans to show ashtrays full of used cigarettes and ash. There are also blueprints of how to make TNT. Ontop of which are fuses, pliers, and miscellaneous cogwheels.
The camera tilts towards the ground as it pans to the far wall. Used tissues, empty cartons of cigarettes, beer cans, and pizza boxes litter the floor.
The camera tilts to it's normal position and pans up an entertainment center. A smashed television set rests in the center. On the top shelf are broken pictures of Kevin and Amy. Some of which are torn down the center. Others have Amy’s face scribbled on with a black sharpie. Only one picture is left untouched and still in a frame.
The camera turns 180 degrees to create an establishing shot of the living room. On the opposite wall is a large, musty green couch. Behind the couch is a large window with the curtains half-drawn.
Kevin faces the corner and turns towards the entertainment center. Strapped onto a vest are seven sticks of TNT fused to a digital timer. As he walks towards the entertainment center, he painstakingly sets the timer to exactly five minutes and hits a red button on top of the timer. The clock begins counting down.
Kevin looks up at the shelf of the entertainment center. He grabs the undamaged picture of himself and Amy and longingly stares at it as he walks towards the couch. He stops halfway. His longing expression turns to hatred. He winds up his arm and throws the picture at the floor. SMASH.
Close up – broken picture frame
The picture frame and protective glass is shattered into pieces. Kevin’s foot walks on top of the abused picture.
Tilt – up from picture
Kevin stands between the coffie table and the couch. He grabs a half-used cigarette from the ashtray on the coffee table, lights it, and takes a puff. Exhausted, Kevin collapses dejectedly on the couch. His head slumps back at an uncomfortable looking angle. He is content.
............................ and thus begins Nikki's part.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Priliminary Script of part 2(neighbor scene)
Hey all! Here's my first attempt at hashing out a script. I plan on reworking it a bit but I thought I'd try to get a little feedback first. Please read through it and comment.
INT. LIVING ROOM-DAY
KEVIN collapses dejectedly onto his musty green couch. His head slumps back at an uncomfortable looking angle. Crushed beer cans, empty cigarette cartons, and used Kleenexes litter the entire area. The room is peaceful.
CLOSE-UP-KEVIN
Kevin inhales deeply and closes his eyes. The sound of a bird chirping can be heard outside.
EXT. TREE IN KEVIN’S FRONT YARD-DAY
A happy blue jay chirps merrily from its nest. The sound of children laughing can be heard.
PAN-TO-NEIGHBORHOOD KIDS IN THE YARD NEXT DOOR
Two children are playing pirates. They sword fight happily, laughing constantly. The sound of a cheery tune being whistled can be heard.
PAN-TO-POST MAN WALKING DOWN SIDEWALK
A plump postal worker struts along happily, clutching several envelopes in his hand, and whistling.
INT. LIVING ROOM-DAY
The camera seems to pan out of Kevin’s ear to settle in front of him. His eyes are still closed. A few seconds go by. Kevin’s front door opens. An elderly woman enters. MRS. JENKINS is wearing a simple blue dress. A purple afghan drapes her hunched shoulders. Her white hair is up in a bun and she’s clutching a white sugar canister in one of her feeble hands and a small wooden cane in the other. She shuffles through the messy living room and walks right in front of Kevin. He slightly opens one eye. She turns to him, not even stopping and waves the canister at him.
CLOSE-UP-CANISTER
The word ‘Sugar’ is clearly visible.
She exits stage left. The sound of her rustling in the kitchen can be heard. Kevin nonchalantly slumps his head back again on the headrest. A few seconds go by.
CLOSE-UP-KEVINS EYE
Kevin’s bloodshot eye opens abruptly. His pupil shrinks.
Kevin flies off the couch in a panic, his back to the camera. Camera transitions to in front of Kevin. He stops in the doorway of his filthy kitchen clutching the frame. He has a horrified look on his face. Mrs. Jenkins is slowly rummaging in the cupboards in the foreground. He hurriedly walks towards her and grabs her by the arm. He looks nervous as he tries to drag her towards the front door. She whacks him in the head with her cane and shuffles back into the kitchen. He stands there dumbfounded for a second then rushes back into the kitchen. He stands behind her as she slowly goes through some drawers. He’s fidgeting and pacing, grabbing his hair and biting his nails. She is oblivious to this behavior. He looks down at the timer on his chest. 4 minutes left. Spurred into action, he picks her up by the waist and deposits her in the living room. He rips the canister from her hand then zooms back into the kitchen in a flash. He zips around the kitchen lightening fast. Then he reappears in front of Mrs. Jenkins with a heaping armful of sugar in bags, bowls, and her own overflowing canister. His face is amazingly tense as he shoves all the sugar into Mrs. Jenkins arms. He picks her up by the waist again and jets toward the front door, which he flings open. He swings his arms back in anticipation of throwing her out the door. She pinches his cheeks affectionately before he sends her and her sugar flying out of the house. He sighs and proceeds to try and shut the door.
INT. LIVING ROOM-DAY
KEVIN collapses dejectedly onto his musty green couch. His head slumps back at an uncomfortable looking angle. Crushed beer cans, empty cigarette cartons, and used Kleenexes litter the entire area. The room is peaceful.
CLOSE-UP-KEVIN
Kevin inhales deeply and closes his eyes. The sound of a bird chirping can be heard outside.
EXT. TREE IN KEVIN’S FRONT YARD-DAY
A happy blue jay chirps merrily from its nest. The sound of children laughing can be heard.
PAN-TO-NEIGHBORHOOD KIDS IN THE YARD NEXT DOOR
Two children are playing pirates. They sword fight happily, laughing constantly. The sound of a cheery tune being whistled can be heard.
PAN-TO-POST MAN WALKING DOWN SIDEWALK
A plump postal worker struts along happily, clutching several envelopes in his hand, and whistling.
INT. LIVING ROOM-DAY
The camera seems to pan out of Kevin’s ear to settle in front of him. His eyes are still closed. A few seconds go by. Kevin’s front door opens. An elderly woman enters. MRS. JENKINS is wearing a simple blue dress. A purple afghan drapes her hunched shoulders. Her white hair is up in a bun and she’s clutching a white sugar canister in one of her feeble hands and a small wooden cane in the other. She shuffles through the messy living room and walks right in front of Kevin. He slightly opens one eye. She turns to him, not even stopping and waves the canister at him.
CLOSE-UP-CANISTER
The word ‘Sugar’ is clearly visible.
She exits stage left. The sound of her rustling in the kitchen can be heard. Kevin nonchalantly slumps his head back again on the headrest. A few seconds go by.
CLOSE-UP-KEVINS EYE
Kevin’s bloodshot eye opens abruptly. His pupil shrinks.
Kevin flies off the couch in a panic, his back to the camera. Camera transitions to in front of Kevin. He stops in the doorway of his filthy kitchen clutching the frame. He has a horrified look on his face. Mrs. Jenkins is slowly rummaging in the cupboards in the foreground. He hurriedly walks towards her and grabs her by the arm. He looks nervous as he tries to drag her towards the front door. She whacks him in the head with her cane and shuffles back into the kitchen. He stands there dumbfounded for a second then rushes back into the kitchen. He stands behind her as she slowly goes through some drawers. He’s fidgeting and pacing, grabbing his hair and biting his nails. She is oblivious to this behavior. He looks down at the timer on his chest. 4 minutes left. Spurred into action, he picks her up by the waist and deposits her in the living room. He rips the canister from her hand then zooms back into the kitchen in a flash. He zips around the kitchen lightening fast. Then he reappears in front of Mrs. Jenkins with a heaping armful of sugar in bags, bowls, and her own overflowing canister. His face is amazingly tense as he shoves all the sugar into Mrs. Jenkins arms. He picks her up by the waist again and jets toward the front door, which he flings open. He swings his arms back in anticipation of throwing her out the door. She pinches his cheeks affectionately before he sends her and her sugar flying out of the house. He sighs and proceeds to try and shut the door.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Team Update for 04-22-2009
The panel has selected our Suicide story as the one to go forward with. As a reminder, here is our 250 word synopsis of that story:
~~~~
Logline-A depressed man has a difficult time carrying out his suicide mission alone when he gets a string of pesky house guests.
Synopsis-Kevin’s girlfriend, Amy, has just left him. At the end of his rope he decides to just end it all. He sets down the picture of Amy he’d been clutching then straps a home-made bomb to his chest and starts the timer. He has 5 minutes to quietly reflect on his life. As he waits, the door-bell rings. He tries to ignore it but his elderly neighbor, Mrs. Thomas, forces her way through the door. Panicked, Kevin tries to force her back out the door so as she won’t be harmed. Mrs. Thomas is quite relentless about needing a cup of sugar so Kevin hurriedly collects all the sugar in his house and throws it at the old woman before pushing her out the door. Before he can even walk away from the door it opens again. Two young Missionaries stand in the doorway. They’re holding pamphlets that say “Lonely? Try Jesus!” Kevin’s eye twitches. He grabs all their information and booklets and slams the door again exasperated. Again the door opens and a troupe of girl scouts stand there, cookies in hand. They refuse to leave without making a sale. He scrambles around the house for his wallet then buys all the cookies and slams the door for the third time. With his back to the door it opens once again. He hears his name spoken in a familiar voice and turns around. It’s Amy. “I want to get back together.” She says. He smiles weakly. Times up. Boom.
Tagline-An explosive, comedic twist on the trials and tribulations of offing oneself.
~~~~
We are now working on the script, which has been broken up into scenes. Catherine is taking the intro, Nikki is taking the first guest, Aimee is taking the second guest, Luke is taking the third guest, and David is taking the ending.
Next week we will meet and put our script segments together, and correct any formatting issues.
During this week we will also be gathering physical comedy reference. Everyone must find at least 5 videos, and take notes (visual and/or verbal) on them. Buster Keaton and Matthew Perry are two comedians to be thinking of for inspiration as to Kevin's character. But please bear in mind that we should be looking at every physical comedian we can, to draw inspiration from everywhere. Here are some links for finding and keeping videos:
archive.org
keepvid
Download Helper (Firefox Plugin)
Finally, everyone needs to take a stab at drawing each character. Have Nikki's design for Kevin in mind, but don't let it hinder you. The design will really come together as we begin drawing each others characters.
We'll be meeting on Monday at 10:00 am, in the student lounge in the North Campus building to assemble our script and discuss any further issues.
~~~~
Logline-A depressed man has a difficult time carrying out his suicide mission alone when he gets a string of pesky house guests.
Synopsis-Kevin’s girlfriend, Amy, has just left him. At the end of his rope he decides to just end it all. He sets down the picture of Amy he’d been clutching then straps a home-made bomb to his chest and starts the timer. He has 5 minutes to quietly reflect on his life. As he waits, the door-bell rings. He tries to ignore it but his elderly neighbor, Mrs. Thomas, forces her way through the door. Panicked, Kevin tries to force her back out the door so as she won’t be harmed. Mrs. Thomas is quite relentless about needing a cup of sugar so Kevin hurriedly collects all the sugar in his house and throws it at the old woman before pushing her out the door. Before he can even walk away from the door it opens again. Two young Missionaries stand in the doorway. They’re holding pamphlets that say “Lonely? Try Jesus!” Kevin’s eye twitches. He grabs all their information and booklets and slams the door again exasperated. Again the door opens and a troupe of girl scouts stand there, cookies in hand. They refuse to leave without making a sale. He scrambles around the house for his wallet then buys all the cookies and slams the door for the third time. With his back to the door it opens once again. He hears his name spoken in a familiar voice and turns around. It’s Amy. “I want to get back together.” She says. He smiles weakly. Times up. Boom.
Tagline-An explosive, comedic twist on the trials and tribulations of offing oneself.
~~~~
We are now working on the script, which has been broken up into scenes. Catherine is taking the intro, Nikki is taking the first guest, Aimee is taking the second guest, Luke is taking the third guest, and David is taking the ending.
Next week we will meet and put our script segments together, and correct any formatting issues.
During this week we will also be gathering physical comedy reference. Everyone must find at least 5 videos, and take notes (visual and/or verbal) on them. Buster Keaton and Matthew Perry are two comedians to be thinking of for inspiration as to Kevin's character. But please bear in mind that we should be looking at every physical comedian we can, to draw inspiration from everywhere. Here are some links for finding and keeping videos:
archive.org
keepvid
Download Helper (Firefox Plugin)
Finally, everyone needs to take a stab at drawing each character. Have Nikki's design for Kevin in mind, but don't let it hinder you. The design will really come together as we begin drawing each others characters.
We'll be meeting on Monday at 10:00 am, in the student lounge in the North Campus building to assemble our script and discuss any further issues.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Werebear stuff
Sorry this stuff is just getting posted today. My internet has been down at home. A also recieved some of Aimee's stuff today, so I'll post that next. Here's my long version of the Werebear:
A group of thugs gets the shock of their lives when their seemingly defenseless victim makes a Grizzly transformation.
Elderly Mrs. Jenkins walks past the front window of a run-down grocery store in a run-down neighborhood in the heart a run-down city. Car alarms are going off in the distance, screams and faint gunshots joining in the chorus. Mrs. Jenkins is small, bent with age, hobbling along with the aid of a cane. She wears thick glasses, a worn purple dress, and carries a matching purse. About her neck is a string of pearls. She enters the grocery store, pausing to look at a newspaper stand. The headlines read “Theft, Mugging up 400% Since July.” She shakes her head sadly, and goes about her shopping.
Once she has found everything that she needs, she goes to pay at the register. The cashier puts her things into a large paper bag. He advises her not to go out alone in this part of town. She thanks him for his concern, and says she can take care of herself.
She walks back out the door, and heads down the street, struggling with the large bag. She moves past a display of televisions in the window of an electronics store. The televisions are all showing a news broadcast, proclaiming “Crime rate on the rise! Theft at an all-time high!” As Mrs. Jenkins moves past the window, someone runs up to it, smashes it, and runs off with one of the TVs.
She keeps walking, and after a few blocks, it becomes evident that she is being watched. Hooded thugs watch her from the shadows, their eyes glued to her valuable pearls. She ducks down an alley to get away from one menacing form, but to no avail. At the other end of the alley, another shadow y figure waits for her. A knife flicks out from his hand. Mrs. Jenkins turns around to go back the way she came, only for the first thug to step in and point a knife at her. Several more thugs step in behind him, and they slowly back her into the alley.
“That necklace looks like it might be worth something,” says the first thug. “Hand it over, Lady.”
Mrs. Jenkins drops her groceries, and abruptly transforms into a grizzly bear, easily four times her previous height. She grabs the first thug by the top of his head, as he swings his knife futilely towards her torso. She pitches him straight into the air like a baseball.
“Didn’t your mother teach you to say please?”
She clobbers the other thugs in various ways. As she finishes and brushes her paws off, the first thug comes hurtling out of the sky to crash into a dumpster. All thugs are bruised, but essentially unharmed.
The short closes with a shot of the thugs carrying Mrs. Jenkins’ groceries for her, and a batman-eqsue voiceover by Mrs. Jenkins, explaining her vigilante mission to clean up the city from 6 am to sundown.
And the 250 word version:
Elderly Mrs. Jenkins walks past the front window of a run-down grocery store in the heart of a run-down city. She enters the grocery store, pausing to look at a newspaper stand. The headlines read “Theft, Mugging up 400% Since July.”
Once she has found everything that she needs, she goes to pay. The cashier advises her not to go out alone in this part of town.
She heads down the street, struggling with the large bag. She moves past a display of televisions in a window, showing a news broadcast: “Crime rate on the rise! Theft at an all-time high!”
After a few blocks, it becomes evident that she is being watched. Hooded thugs watch her from the shadows, eyes glued to her pearls. She ducks down an alley to get away from one menacing form. At the other end of the alley, another shadow y figure waits for her. Mrs. Jenkins turns around to go back the way she came, only for the first thug to step in and point a knife at her. Several more thugs step in behind him, and they slowly back her into the alley.
Mrs. Jenkins drops her groceries, and abruptly transforms into a grizzly bear.
She clobbers the thugs in various ways. All thugs are bruised, but essentially unharmed. The thugs carry Mrs. Jenkins’ groceries home for her .
Aaaaand the 100 word version:
Elderly Mrs. Jenkins is out buying groceries in a dangerous part of town. On her way home, she realizes she is being followed. A group of thugs with their eyes on the string of pearls around her neck corner her in an alley, where she transforms into a bear and pummels them in various ways. All of the thugs are bruised and battered, but essentially unharmed. The thugs carry Mrs. Jenkins’ groceries home for her.
Here are some bear concepts:
Monday, April 20, 2009
Umm...
Hello? Is anyone else working on their parts of the pitch besides Catherine and I? We're suppossed to meet on Tuesday(tomarrow) at noon in the student lounge in North Campus. Be there!
You Got Clogged - 250 Word Synopsis
Logline -
An overconfident troupe of ballerinas get "served" by a team of elderly cloggers.
Synopsis -
Four graceful yet arrogant ballerinas make their way down a dirty city street. As they pass the window of a decrepit community center with a poster advertising free clogging lessons, they see four elderly women inside feebly trying to warm-up. The ballerinas stop to laugh and mock the aging dancers. The elderly women notice the ballerinas and go out to confront them. The oldest and feeblest of the cloggers, Barbara, challenges the ballerinas to a dance-off. Thinking they could not possibly lose to the old women, they ballerinas accept the challenge.
The music starts out slow while the cloggers begin their routine. Then, the ballerinas take their turn. As each group tries to one-up the other, the music gets faster and more intense. After a few rounds, it’s obvious who the victors are; Barbara and the cloggers win.
The main ballerina, Chloe, collapses to the ground astonished by the dancing prowess of the cloggers. Chloe’s cronies help her to her feet and they apologize to the old women. Ashamed and filled with new respect for the cloggers, the troupe of ballerinas walk back the way they came. Barbara, and the other dancers go back inside and try to warm-up again. Moments later, a group of hip-hop dancers begin strutting up the street towards the community center. They stop to read the sign in the window and laugh at the old women. From inside the building, Barbara notices the new foes. Her eyes reflect light as she gives a devious grin.
Taglines -
Wooden shoes versus satin slippers.
Old dogs, new tricks.
You Got Served meets the Golden Girls
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry it took me so long to post this. I'll try and get more stuff out to you guys as the week progresses.
Luke and Amy, I noticed last week in class you were writing long versions of the other two stories. Could you please post them or e-mail them to the group? Thanks.
-Cathy
An overconfident troupe of ballerinas get "served" by a team of elderly cloggers.
Synopsis -
Four graceful yet arrogant ballerinas make their way down a dirty city street. As they pass the window of a decrepit community center with a poster advertising free clogging lessons, they see four elderly women inside feebly trying to warm-up. The ballerinas stop to laugh and mock the aging dancers. The elderly women notice the ballerinas and go out to confront them. The oldest and feeblest of the cloggers, Barbara, challenges the ballerinas to a dance-off. Thinking they could not possibly lose to the old women, they ballerinas accept the challenge.
The music starts out slow while the cloggers begin their routine. Then, the ballerinas take their turn. As each group tries to one-up the other, the music gets faster and more intense. After a few rounds, it’s obvious who the victors are; Barbara and the cloggers win.
The main ballerina, Chloe, collapses to the ground astonished by the dancing prowess of the cloggers. Chloe’s cronies help her to her feet and they apologize to the old women. Ashamed and filled with new respect for the cloggers, the troupe of ballerinas walk back the way they came. Barbara, and the other dancers go back inside and try to warm-up again. Moments later, a group of hip-hop dancers begin strutting up the street towards the community center. They stop to read the sign in the window and laugh at the old women. From inside the building, Barbara notices the new foes. Her eyes reflect light as she gives a devious grin.
Taglines -
Wooden shoes versus satin slippers.
Old dogs, new tricks.
You Got Served meets the Golden Girls
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry it took me so long to post this. I'll try and get more stuff out to you guys as the week progresses.
Luke and Amy, I noticed last week in class you were writing long versions of the other two stories. Could you please post them or e-mail them to the group? Thanks.
-Cathy
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